Antiquated Traditions: Letter Writing
Inspired by Feud: Capote Vs. The Swans - in particular Babe Paley
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I’m fatigued by 2024. How about you?
Curiously, it’s not that I am not enjoying 2024 thus far. Despite the odd stress attack (normal, right?) I really am enjoying this year. Since leaving my full time role at Imperfects, I have the ability to hone what I want to do professionally and what I’m building at 21st & 18th - excitingly we have begun offering vintage sourcing and editorial styling services, which was unexpected and discovering I have a talent for providing these types of services has been empowering. In addition to more freedom of schedule and creative professional energy, I feel more at ease, not complacent, not at peace but at ease. In these moments of transition I have found there is a difference between the three states.
Despite these feelings of freedom and easiness, I just wish it were not 2024. I wish it were the 18th part of 21st & 18th. I’m not yearning for the politics or bathing practices of times past, rather I want some glamor, some elegance, some sophistication for goodness sake. I would like to live in a time where integrity doesn’t feel optional and athleisure doesn’t exist. Is that too much to ask for?
On my flight back from New York City I started Feud: Capote Vs. The Swans. If you have yet to watch it, what are you waiting for? If you’re someone who reads the omens, this is it, baby, tune into Hulu and prepare for Tom Hollander, as Mr. C, to both give you the heebeegeebees and inspire you.
In episode 3 ‘Masquerade 1966’, there is a scene where Babe Paley, played by Naomi Watts, is explaining to the camera, in this flashback episode where Capote was being followed by a camera crew as he planned and prepared for his infamous Black and White Ball, how one must strive for perfection, “No more, no less…” when entertaining and selecting details like the paper for invitations. In this scene Paley is explaining the difference between paper ounceage, hue and edging in incredible detail and with complete Expert confidence.
Some viewers of this episode may have stopped to think, “Huh, these days we just send an evite. So much easier.” At 21st & 18th we are much the opposite, while watching that scene, I thought to myself, “These were the glory days.” I thought this because of one thing in particular: Paley’s attention to detail was admirable. As in many of the bygone eras we time travel to on 21st & 18th, this moment in Babe Paley’s uptown New York drawing room gave a social event all of her undivided attention. Today, the only event that really receives that much thought is a wedding, and later in life, a funeral - too existential?
Why are we waiting around for the two big moments or fringe events to be attentive to the little details that make life spectacular? To give attention to the small thoughtful things that make your guests who come to dinner feel special and loved? Why?
To ease my contemporary woes, I am doing what I do best, time traveling.
Set your clock back to 1966, New York, New York. Like Harry Potter traveling with floo1 powder, envision Mrs. Paley’s uptown drawing room with a delicately carved writing desk and fresh flowers, something like tulips in a baccarat vase.
The year is 1966. And our country of focus is the United States of America. Lyndon B. John is President, the Civil Rights Movement is surging through America after 1965’s Voting Rights Act was passed, the Chicago Bulls are accepted into the National Basketball Association, some 8,000 U.S. troops land in South Vietnam bringing the total U.S. troops stationed in Vietnam to about 190,000, the final episodes of The Flintstones and The Dick Van Dyke Show air, Dr. Martin Luther King leads a Civil Rights march in Chicago and speaks out, for the first time, against the war in Vietnam, Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas, NV opens on the Strip, Ronald Reagan is elected Governor of California, Montgomery Clift, Elizabeth Arden and Walt Disney, among other notable figures, died while actors Patrick Dempsey, Cynthia Nixon and Halle Barry were born and in New York City, writer, Truman Capote hosts his famous Black and White Ball at The Plaza Hotel on 28 November.
So it’s 1966 and we are in New York. The scene in set but we need to outline our main character: Babe Paley. For those playing catch up, let’s start here: Who was Babe Paley?
The main character of our story was born Barbara Cushing on 5 July 1915 in Boston, Massachusetts. This woman, destined to become known as ‘Babe’ and notable for her fashion and style, launched into society as a debutante in 19342 after which she attended Westover in Middlebury, Connecticut. After college, in 1938 Babe moved to New York City where she began working as an editor at Vogue. Let’s pause here, because this is really cool and fascinating. Vogue was founded in 1892 and at the time Babe worked at the magazine the business was under the leadership of Edna Woolman Chase, who was Editor in Chief from 1914 - 1952. Babe was in the thick of Vogue’s evolution to becoming Vogue, the cultural powerhouse we know today, she was coming of age at a time when technology was changing, women’s voices were taking up space, some of the greatest designers of all time were living and she, Babe, was in the thick of it.
Come 1941, Babe was ranked 2nd, by Time magazine, on their list of the world’s best dressed women. Who outranked her? None other than, Wallis Simpson3 or the Duchess of Windsor. Well done, Babe.
While she was coming into her own professionally and as a style icon, in 1940 she walked down the aisle (for the first time) to wed Stanley Grafton Mortimer Jr., the couple had two children together and divorced in 1946.
Just one year later, in 1947, Babe then married William Paley, we’ll hear him referred mostly to as Bill. Bill was fresh off a divorce as well, wealthy, the founder of CBS and looking for entrée into New York’s café society. Babe was just the woman he needed, and for her his wealth solidified her position and life. Bill and Babe had two children together and while they were truly the toast of the town, he tended to cheat on her quite a bit. Babe turned to friends, like Truman Capote, smoking, style and entertaining to fill the loneliness void. Sadly, four years after a diagnosis of lung cancer, Babe passed away in 1978 at the age of 63.
Despite her relatively short life, she remains an icon several times over today, we admire her for her: Style, cultural legacy, contributions to magazine editing, social graces and place in New York City’s history.
It’s a pleasure to know you, Mrs. Paley.
As we find ourselves here in NYC in the year 1966, shall we lean into Antiquated Traditions, we should really resuscitate? I am thinking something that would have been part and parcel to Babe Paley’s every day: Letter Writing.
8 steps for writing letters à la Babe Paley
Set the scene
You are about to sit down and tend to your correspondence and social calendar, write some letters and begin planning upcoming events and your environment needs to be just so. To ensure this, tidy up your office or the area you work from in your home, light a candle, fluff and karate chop your pillows and maybe even turn on some jazz or low key classical music.
Dress the part
This is technically a work from home situation however Mrs. Paley’s writing desk and drawing room will resemble nothing of my COVID-Lululemon-filled-chilly-apartment-in-San-Francisco. It’s 1966 and you’re in New York! Think! What would Babe pull on this Wednesday morning to tuck into letter and invitation writing and event planning?
Increasingly at 21st & 18th, I have been invited to support content production for brand’s via editorial styling, ie. making photo shoots turn out the way the art director conceptualized, and getting dressed is quite similar to styling a shoot. When I want to deliver on a certain type of look, I will usually make historical and contextual notes. For example, I will answer the following questions if I am styling myself inspired by a person: Which character am I emulating or inspired by for this look? What did they wear? Do I have access to photos or paintings of this character? What historical clothing attributes or accessories can I wear, in a non-costumey way, in the 21st century? Would [enter historical character here] have worn this?
Jacket: Michael Kors, Houndstooth 3/4 length cropped blazer (Mine is no longer available, but this cropped jacket feels very Babe)
Blouse: Lloyd Williams4 silk long sleeve blouse with shoulder pads (This is a similar Lloyd Williams style, what a deal $36 on Etsy!)
Scarf: Lanvin
Lowers: St. John Collection, Santiago Knit Pants in Midnight
Shoes: St. John, Navy silk pumps (Vintage and no longer available :( )
Nail Lacquer is a must
Watching Feud makes you crave a good manicure and well trimmed cuticles. Given my horse-girl nature, a manicure generally does not last more than 4 days, however I am drinking the Babe Paley kool aid and have opted for a 70’s orange color on my nails. I like it - may go red next time.
Are you hydrating?
Mrs. Paley would have a glass of something on her writing desk. Tea, coffee, scotch? I am opting for Champagne. If you’re wondering, yes, it is 2.24 PST but in Solopreneur-land that’s equivalent to 6.00pm and there is no difference between a weekday and the weekend.
Penmanship
When was the last time you hand wrote something? Maybe at the DMV when you had to sign your name for your license at the age of 16? We are quite the digital society these days. Most people don’t write at all anymore or remember how to write in cursive. Don't think about it too long, you might freak yourself out.
If you have not penned anything recently, don’t fret, but do remember to write a draft of your note or invitation before putting pen to paper. Also, remove any pink rings and for the love of God don’t start writing letters after you’ve painted or had your nails done. Like swimming and eating, wait at least an hour before taking up the pen post manicure.
Another pro tip: Get a good pen! Wemple, my husband, was gifted a lovely mont Blanc pen by his brother and it writes beautifully. This pen is my favorite of theirs. Also, I really love calligraphy pens, like this one for writing letters and invitations - the fountain tip and inky-ness is unparalleled!
The stationary
There are a lot of fancy, old school places to find stationary in every city, not only the big cities - truly, one just needs to look or Google. Those sweet shops are great but can often come with a savory price tag, to which I say either have a local print shop whip up some ‘Stationary’ with your name and other details you would like, ie. a monogram or crest, or use Papier. I love Papier, their stationary is well priced and customizable plus comes with envelopes. I also appreciate their lack of branding on the back of your stationary - Mrs. Paley would too.
Stationary’s outerwear ie. stamps and addressing
Stamps are important and there are an endless number of stamps available for your ordering. If you have ever been a bride, this bit of knowledge is tattooed on your heart forever.
When addressing letters, I tend to opt for more formally, not necessarily in using ‘Mrs.’ and ‘Mr.’ - although I do like to do this - but by skipping abbreviations. Specifically, I like to write our ‘Street’ or ‘Place’ even ‘Boulevard’ and ‘Drive’ when penning someone’s address; it feels more thoughtful and attentive.
Bon voyage
When writing letters, notes or send invitations, it is critical to remember to ship your creations the same day. I know it sounds tiresome and like I am your grandmother come back from the grave, but truly, it is important. Why? 1) If it is a thank you note you must write promptly following an event of receipt of a gift and if an invitation, then you needs give your guest ample time to RSVP. Always do unto others… 2) You wrote the date atop the card, don’t incriminate yourself.
Thank you, Reader, for being part of 21st & 18th House, our time travel club, your support is appreciated.
Upcoming at 21st & 18th:
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Until next week - Yours,
LLW
That’s actually how J. K. Rowling spells it, look it up
Fun fact: President Roosevelt’s sons apparently attended her debut. This has me thinking about Nate Archibald in Gossip Girl, Season 1 *swoon, he’s so cute*
You know her, she’s the American divorcee who Edward VIII of England abdicated the throne for. Yes, I know, majorly juicy.
Lloyd Williams is an African American fashion designer who was born in the French Quarter of New Orleans - keep an eye out for his pieces in vintage of resale shops
Stands for ‘What I’m Obsessed With’